10 funny things my 5-year-old has said lately

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It’s been two months already since my last funny things my 5-year-old has said post. The news is pretty depressing at the moment so I figured it was time for the 4th edition for some light relief.

Here are some things my 5-year-old has said lately that have made me chuckle…

1. Arlo: Mammy do you know that some kids grow together in their mammy’s tummy?’ Me: Yes, and do you know what they’re called?’ Arlo, enthusiastically: ‘Yeah, pandas’. Ermmm not quite.
2. On the letter D: ‘Is that the normal d or the caterpillar d? (Capital d)
3. Arlo at 3.30pm in May: ‘Look at that shooting star’. Me: ‘Arlo that’s a bird’
4. On why dogs lick you: ‘to see if you taste nice so then they can eat you’. No wonder he’s terrified of dogs.
5. Me: ‘If you could be any animal Arlo, what would you be?’. Arlo: ‘a ghost’
6. A van pulled alongside us and beeped its horn loudly. I jumped. Arlo said ‘did he scare your life out Mammy?’ Yes he did son.
7. On his sister: ‘Lena is like a werehulf’ (werewolf). You’re not wrong there kid.
8. On his baby sister’s origins: ‘How did Lena get here? Did she walk here like Boss Baby or did she grow in your tummy?’.
9. On a sign above a sink at school that says ‘wash your hands’: ‘That sign says if you don’t wash your hands you will die to death’. Seems extreme but he’s got the general message so I didn’t bother correcting him.
10. Arlo on the haves and have-nots: ‘People who don’t have homes have to live under trampolines’. Oddly specific. I mean what do you even say to that?!

That’s all for now. I’ll bring you another instalment once I’ve collected the next bunch of corkers!

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